A hard-headed update
My mom visited this past week and it was SO great to have her in town. It’s also so interesting to have her around to watch our household dynamics from an “outsider” perspective but since she isn’t really an outsider, she’s able to actually tell me what she sees.
You know, she noticed Jordan is growing up a bit. Her sometimes rude, hard headedness is still there… But she’s starting to be a little more introspective and able to apologize when she takes things into the wrong direction. That is my goal as I try to help guide her as she grows.
My mom and I had a good conversation about the way Jordan reacts to criticism. So often, when Jordan doesn’t understand something, she tends to turn on her “fight mode” before she’s ready to turn on her “learn mode.” It’s aggravating. But talking it through with my mom, I really think this is because Jordan has needed be a little more aggressive to stand up for herself at times. And because she’s so good at standing up for herself, she’s not so good at criticism or difficult moments where she needs to stop, think and process. She fights before she thinks.
I’ll keep helping her with this… But as I process her reactions, hopefully I’ll be able to help her “see” how her actions affect others and prevent her from learning and sometime even having fun.
Jen, that is such an interesting explanation for why Jordan responds the way she does! You are so observant and reflective– Jordan’s lucky to have a mom who works so hard to understand her! One thing I’ve found really helpful with more challenging behaviors in my classroom is to model using a “meta-moment”– I tell the student, “What you did really upset me, so I need to take a moment to calm down before we can talk about it. Can we talk in a couple of minutes?” That way, students can see that even adults get upset in the moment and need to take a minute to calm down. It also actually gives the child a moment to cool down before you have a discussion about what they did wrong there. I’m thinking that might help Jordan be more reflective and apologetic. Thank you for sharing this! 🙂
Thank you, Elise! That’s really helpful!
My 10 year old is one of the most strong willed people I know. She is also an above elbow amputee. I keep telling myself God gave her that gift for a purpose and it will serve her well. It does make for some interesting times though!
That’s the truth, Rhonda!