Doll love and sadness
Jordan goes through times when she really loves dolls. Of course our trip to American Girl refreshed her love. She carried her doll around just about everywhere after our Saturday trip. On Sunday she took the doll on a trip to my old hometown in the suburbs of Chicago. We were just getting out of the car and she was in a really bright an cheery mood. She was SO proud to have her pretty outfit that matched her pretty doll. Then suddenly she says:
“Mom. Why can’t I have two hands just like my doll?”
And she got very sad. She slouched and moped and got teary. I went over to her and reminded her that I can’t fix that. She was born with one hand and she doesn’t just have that one hand – we’ve now built two helper arms and FIVE, that’s right, FIVE helper hands. Her brother jumped out of the van to see her. He was astonished to see how her mood changed so suddenly. I explained to him why she was sad… And he didn’t really know what to do.
I asked Jordan if she needed a hug. I’ve experienced this before… and I have found I should just let her be sad. It just sucks that it’s her pretty doll who made her sad. The hugs helped a ton. She brightened up a bunch. I’ll just keep giving her a chance to be sad when she needs it. No sugar coating, but no dwelling. We’ll recognize we’re sad and feel it… but no dwelling.
Another great post! I’m so terrified of these moments coming up in my life. I fear I’ll say or do the wrong thing. I’m with you. No sugar coating, but no dwelling. She’s a beautiful girl that’s very lucky to have such a great mom and brother!
I know hard this is…Ella cried last night and asked why someone else couldn’t have a small hand instead of her. She’s upset because she cannot do the monkey bars at summer school and says no one will help her. I try to focus on everything she can do, but this time, I couldn’t hold back my sadness for her.
I understand Amy. We just built a helper arm for Jordan so she can try the monkey bars. I’m pretty sure there are ways Ella can play too. I’ll ask for ideas when we’re at camp next week! Also – I don’t know if you’ve heard of Sammy’s Friends (http://www.sammysfriends.org) but there might be a mom or dad in the group with ideas for Ella! I’m so glad we met on this blog’s Facebook page!
I thought there were dolls with arm prostectics, but it turns out they only have leg ones. Maybe they can work with you?
http://www.sew-dolling.com/dollys_friends.htm
Sadly, amputeddy went out of business
http://www.amputeesupplies.com/products/amputeddy.html
[…] arm just like her. It started as a topic of discussion when she was four-years-old and realized her American Girl doll didn’t look like her. The realization made Jordan sad. I even reached out to American Girl and the company will not […]