Dressed Up, Ready to Play and Testing Us
This post is not officially approved by Jordan… But I feel the need to share a parenting perspective from the view of a parent of an incredibly strong and confident kid… With or without a limb difference.
Anyone who has spent time with me lately will know that Jordan has been testing our patience lately. As I’ve documented for years, she’s a strong personality and we’ve encouraged her to be confident. Lately, she’s been going through a mini-rebellion. She’s questioning all authority, especially at home. It’s led to a lot of quiet time in her bedroom lately.
We talk a lot about taking a moment to think before we speak and react. I know we all have to work on that skill… No matter our age. So right now, our life with Jordan comes in waves of high positive energy and sometimes waves of deep emotional strain after she may have jumped to a conclusion or used her strong personality in a way that just wasn’t appropriate. I love this kid and I’m exhausted.
In the meantime, this is peak activity season for Jordan. Her softball team is playing at least two games a week and her dance class is wrapping up for the year. That means she got to dress up ahead of the dress rehearsal and performance for her picture day. I’ll be honest. These days kind of stress me out. I’m not the greatest at doing hair. I didn’t practice on my friends’ hair when I grew up. I don’t really do much fancy stuff with my hair. So putting everything into a bun and adding makeup is a bit intimidating for me. But as usual, Jordan made my attempts to dress her up look very fancy.
This is seriously my favorite week because just two days after dance picture day is softball picture day. I love both sides of Miss Jordan, her dancing/girly side and her softball/sporty side. Along with her hard headed personality, she’s open to so many awesome experiences. As much as I might want to beat my head into the side of a wall from time to time, I adore this kid. I will take full blame for encouraging her to be strong and confident. I should also take blame for her defiance and strength even though it makes parenting SO much more challenging.
Aw, I love Jordan! And you did a fabulous job with the hair and makeup – she looks like Cinderella.
Jordan reminds me so much of me when I was a kid. I was also very stubborn and jumped to conclusions. But on a positive note, my strong personality is what made me who I am today. So I know Jordan will be just fine.
(I’m also still working on the whole thinking-before-I-speak thing, and I’m 21.)
@Caitlin – So am I. She’s very much a mini-me in many ways, but even more confident. This strength will carry her far.
Jen – Thanks for sharing. We sure do love our kids, don’t we? That doesn’t mean it’s never challenging though. From the minute my daughter was born she was strong-willed. She cried a lot. It was as though nothing we did was ever right. When she was two, she’d scream if I didn’t let her ‘do things her way.’ But sometimes I just didn’t have the time to wait for her to walk down a flight of steps – sometimes I just needed to pick her up and get going… That said, just like Caitlin above, these stubborn and independent traits that she exhibited early on, have stuck with her beautifully. She’s now 24 years old and doing great. She’s a hard worker, sets her mind on something and doesn’t give up. Frustrating as it can be, I’m pretty sure that these are the exact traits we want for our daughters. If they ‘gave in’ (even to us) at every turn, then they wouldn’t be as strong or independent. And so the best (I think) we can do right now is channel the energy, and watch them grow. Quiet time-outs in her room are a good way to insist on polite talk, etc. Hang on to your hat – but when J comes out the other side, my bet is she’s going to be one FABulous young woman. Take care.
Thanks so much, Katie!!
When my children were little, especially one female one who is now seventeen, I kept telling myself that their stubbornness, desire to question, and very strong will would be an asset one day. What can be difficult in a child is very necessary in a young adult and older. Navigating life is easier and safer with those qualities. Hard on us during the young years, I know, but worth it. Worth it, worth it, worth it.