Should I be annoyed?
I was lucky enough to discover a couple of stories about Hayden Filson thanks to her mom who posted on the Born Just Right Facebook page. Hayden plays softball for her state championship high school team and was born with one hand. But in the news coverage about her, the reporters keep writing and saying “born with one arm.” It’s obvious that Hayden has two arms. She has one hand.
It’s a difference that I think is important. Should I really care? I keep correcting Jordan’s brother when he tells kids that his sister was born with one arm. She has TWO!
Am I being picky or am I allowed to try to crusade for a change in how we talk about upper limb-different people? Yes, some people are born without an arm (or two) and others lose an arm or two due to illness or trauma. But in many cases, there’s a part of an arm… So it’s an arm!!
Okay. I’m done with my rant. I needed it to get out there.
As a gift to you for sticking with me, I’ll include some pictures of Jordan and her dance class right before they went in for picture day. So much pink… Actually there’s so much pink, it’s cute.
You have the right to be annoyed. Just like if I were Hayden Filson, I’d be annoyed if someone called me hayden Finley. (teehee!)
@Tara! I can’t believe I did that. I’ll fix that.
I agree 100%. Our girls have one hand, two arms. Dont know why anyone would say otherwise. True, the arms aren’t just exactly like everyone elses but what is there IS an arm! I dont think we ever ran across this problem.
You do have the right to be annoyed. I get annoyed about my own things. (Mine is death. I say he died, he’s dead, etc. None of this passed on or anything, and especially don’t tell me “he’s in a better place”. Grrrr.) So you bet, vent away, and feel free to correct people. There is no reason for you to be uncomfortable with the way people refer to Jordan around you. (And I’m still in love with the pink dance costumes. Sassy!)
I am with you 100%…it’s a mistake the paper make in their article. While my son’s congenital amputation is right above his elbow, he still has part of an arm. It’s a phrase I take issue with. I’m totally ok with people saying he was born with one hand, but that doesn’t happen very often; they usually go straight to the “no arm” thing. When I’m talking, I usually say that my son has a “little arm.” (That how we refer to his limb difference arm.)
Everyone has a right to their opinions and preferences.
Honestly, I don’t mind if people say I have one hand or one arm. I use both words, actually. My fiance corrects me. I wonder if amputees and their loved ones tend to have different perspectives on the issue? I’m curious what other amputees think.
If people use terminology that isn’t perfectly accurate, then sometimes it tells me that they aren’t thinking in much depth about my disability. It might suggest that they don’t focus on being sensitive because they don’t think that my difference is very important. They define me in other ways, and the limb difference is just an afterthought.
That’s just my perspective. I’m definitely respectful of what you all think too. 🙂
Reading all of your opinions is always fascinating. I like getting exposure to what parents think and feel. Anyone who wants to be a pediatric practitioner should make an effort to understand the family’s perspective. I am already intimately familiar with amputee and practitioner points of view, but this community offers a lot of insight into the immediate family. What I am finding in this community is that parents are proud and protective of their children.
Although I occasionally have opinions that differ from the majority here, this has been an eye opening experience. I will keep posts like this in mind when speaking with parents. Collectively, you are all doing a great job of advocating and educating the public.
So, as a congenital amputee and an occupational therapy student, thank you all for sharing.
Well i know its a error and i sorta ranted but i had to think. I say one arm or one hand depending on the conversation and i dont mean to it just happens.
but on the other hand, i have to explain to people that im not disabled because of my limb, and i dispise the word hanicap, or disability. i refer myself as a normal human. Being said people can do what people can do with both hands, differently maybe, and even better. Just have to stay positive through the ups and downs and the public when they stare or insult.. bite their heads off lol
Thanks to everyone for the input… I heard it here, Facebook and Twitter. All of the input is wonderful. You are all awesome and I appreciate all of the thoughts you share.
Greetings from Australia.
I am a congenital below elbow ‘amputee’ who is a bit long in the tooth so have come across a range of comments over the years.
I also have what our family called a ‘little arm’.
Just a few points:
It is always OK to ask, as long as it is done politely.
Don’t EVER say “you have been like that all of your life” like that means it is either OK or less of a problem; it means you have been putting up with the issues ALL of your life, not just the last however many years.
It is time people with upper limb issues were shown consideration for accessible parking in shopping precincts. Joe Public never objects to me using an accessible space but the authorities (it appear worldwide) are quite happy to discriminate against people with upper limb issues when what is really needed is adequate parking spaces for ALL people who need them.
OK I will get off my soap box now.
Best wishes to everyone affected.
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